C         Em
My old chair
F                       G
Is like a big comfy friend
C                     Em
It's soft and it's fuzzy
F                          G
With a brownish orangey blend
C                    Em          F         G
But the padding is gone, and I'm sorry to say
C                     Em    Fmaj7
I think it's time for me to throw my chair away
     C   Em  F  G
Ohhh nooo....

[Verse 2]
C                   Em
So I sit in you one last time
Fmaj7             G
I promise not to cry
C            Em           F                   G
Pull on your handle, then recline and say goodbye
C                       Em
So I put you out on the curb
F                    G
And I wish you good luck
   C                    Em
Then I see a guy with a mullet drive by 
    F                          G
And put you in the back of his truck

[Chorus 1]
      C                       G
And I hope that he'll be good to you
Am                   Fmaj7
Do the things that I couldn't do
      C                      G
And I hope he gives you more than me
Am                     Fmaj7
I hope that he is good company
    C                    G
But when I climb into my bed
    Am             Em
And I turn off the lights
        F                                        C      Em F G
I'll be wondering, who is farting in your cushion tonight

[Verse 3]
C               Em                    F            G
I could always fart on you, you were always in the mood
C              Em                F                    G
Even that one summer when I was eating lots of Indian food
C                        Em         F               G
But I miss you more than ever and I know I'm to blame
  C                       Em             F                      G
I guess I can fart on the couch now, but baby it's just not the same

[Chorus 2]
      C              G
And I miss you baby ohh so much
  Am                        Fmaj7               
Your giant buttons and your velvet touch
      C                    G
And I miss you more than anything
  Am                    Fmaj7        
The ball poking of your broken spring
   C                   G           Am       Em
If loving a chair is wrong I don't wanna be right
       F                                        C      Em F G
So I'm wondering who is farting in your cushion tonight

[Verse 4]
C               Em
Do you remember the night
   F                 G
We watched the movie Norbit
C               Em
And everytime I broke wind
    F              G
You were happy to absorb it
C              Em
And after I go jogging
   F                         G
My sweaty ass would get your seat wet
C                       Em
And when I accidentally shat in my pants
F               G
You kept it a secret

[Chorus 3]
       C                  G
And I think that I should let you know
    Am           Fmaj7  
I'm sorry that I let you go
    C          G
And everyday I hope I see
   Am                     Fmaj7  
My chair on the curb just waiting for me
   C               G
I dream about you all the time
     Am              Em 
And I hope you're all right
              F               G                          C  G Am Em
Thats why I'm wondering who is farting in your cushion tonight
        F                    G                         C
Cause I wish it was me who is farting in your cushion tonight