Poor Unfortunate Souls

My dear, sweet child. That's what I do. It's what I live for
To help unfortunate merfolk like yourself
Poor souls with no one else to turn to

G#
I admit that in the past I've been a nasty
                                                  F#
They weren't kidding when they called me, well, a witch
But you'll find that nowadays
I've mended all my ways
E                  F#                G#
Repented, seen the light, and made a switch

True? Yes.
And I fortunately know a little magic
                                     F#
It's a talent that I always have possessed
And dear lady, please don't laugh
I use it on behalf
E                  F#                G#
Of the miserable, the lonely, and depressed (pathetic)

E
Poor unfortunate souls
D#         C#
In pain, in need
A        G#
This one longing to be thinner
C#       G#
That one wants to get the girl
A#
And do I help them?
     D#
Yes, indeed
E
Those poor unfortunate souls
D#         C#
So sad, so true
A         G#
They come flocking to my cauldron
C#      G#
Crying, "Spells, Ursula, please!"
A#
And I help them!
C#
Yes I do

         A
Now it's happened once or twice
        C#
Someone couldn't pay the price
         D#                                 E
And I'm afraid I had to rake 'em 'cross the coals
         A
Yes I've had the odd complaint
           E         F#      G#
But on the whole I've been a saint
  E         F#      C#
To those poor unfortunate souls

Have we got a deal?

A
The men up there don't like a lot of blabber
                                   G
They think a girl who gossips is a bore!
Yet on land it's much prefered for ladies not to say a word
          F                 G           A
And after all dear, what is idle babble for?
Come on, they're not all that impressed with conversation
                                   G
True gentlemen avoid it when they can
But they dote and swoon and fawn
On a lady who's withdrawn
             F                G           A
It's she who holds her tongue who get's a man

            F
Come on you poor unfortunate soul
E         D
Go ahead! Make your choice!
      A#        A           D               A
I'm a very busy woman and I haven't got all day
         B
It won't cost much
          E     A
Just your voice!
    F
You poor unfortunate soul
     E       D
It's sad but true
       A#                A
If you want to cross the bridge, my sweet
       D               A
You've got the pay the toll
       A#              A
Take a gulp and take a breath
    D            A
And go ahead and sign the scroll
         A#               A
Flotsam, Jetsam, now I've got her, boys
    D      E     F
The boss is on a roll
     D      F    A    D
This poor unfortunate soul

( D )

F#     G#
Beluga sevruga
     A            B       C#
Come winds of the Caspian Sea
F#       G#
Larengix glaucitis
   A        B
Et max laryngitis
   C#      F
La voce to me

Now, sing!