Farmers Almanac

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[Verse 1]
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Well the farmer prayed for a better year
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And the crops were good like the Lord did hear
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But his barn burnt down with winter near
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The answer came in white and black
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In the farmer's almanac, it says
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If a man could have half his wishes,    he could double his trouble

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A sweet old lady was eighty four
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When her kinfolks came for a month or more
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Now from overworked she's on the other shore
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Much too late with ya'll come back
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And it says in the farmer's almanac, it says
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Visitors and fish smell after 3 days

[Verse 2]
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Our leader was a silver-tongued man
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He deceived the people of the land
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And when he got caught he couldn't stand
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It's a little off-beat and a little off-track
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But it says in the farmer's almanac, it says
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In rivers and bad government, the lightest things float to the top

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[Verse 3]
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Rod said I don't believe in God
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Rod died and lies beneath the sod
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Well God did not believe in Rod
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Life is a troubled and a wearied track
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But it says in the farmer's almanac, it says
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Feed your faith and your doubts will starve to death

[Verse 4]
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The little boy followed the honey bee
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And it flew straight to the honey tree
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He got stung but got the honey free
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Consolation for the things you lack
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Is in the farmer's almanac, it says
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God gives us the darkness so we can see the stars

[Verse 5]
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He came home 3 hours late from work
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Said "I had a flat and fell in the dirt"
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She said "and got lipstick on your shirt"
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Well it turned out like Jill and Jack
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And it says in the farmer's almanac, it says
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Lies have to be covered up, truth can run around naked

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[Verse 6]
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He said honey you know I'm true
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I just look at other women that's all I do
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Then she caught him with her best friend Peggy Sue
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Sometimes some women will look back
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And it says in the farmer's almanac, it says
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There is a lot of difference in window-shoppin' and shop-liftin'

[Verse 7]
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I sat down at a shoe-shine stand
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I had a real slow shoe-shine man
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I said you don't pop that rag like some of 'em can
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He looked at me and then he said right back
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"It says in the farmer's almanac, it says
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The trouble with the world today is there's too much poppin' and not enough shinin'"