Fingertips

 F
When I look back
Em                      F
Tracing fingertips over plastic bags
Em              C         Bm                     Em
Thinking: I wish I could extrapolate some small intention
    Bm                  Em             C         D
Or maybe just get your attention for a minute or two

F
Will I die
                     Em
Or will I get to that ten-year mark?
       F                       Em
Where I beat the extinction of telomeres
 Dm                                  E7
And if I do, will you be there with me? Father, sister, brother

 F
Charlie, stop smoking
                      G
Caroline, will you be with me?

Will the baby be alright?
       F           G
Will I have one of mine?
    F
Can I handle it

Even if I do?
               G
It's said that my mind is not fit

Or so they said
   F
To carry a child
C               Am
I guess I'll be fine

              F                                             Dm
It wasn't my idea the cocktail of things that twist neurons inside
                      G
But without them, I'd die
                               E7
They say there's irony in the music, it's a tragedy, I
    Dm            G
See nothing Greek in it

Give me a mausoleum in Rhode Island with dad
                      E7
Grandma, grandpa and Dave
                      F
Who hung himself real high
           Dm       G                                     G#°
In the National Park sky, it's a shame and I'm crying right now
    Am                                E7
To get to you, save you if I take my life
                              G       D#°
Find your astral body, put it into my eyes
                       F
Give you two seconds to cry
              G
Take you home, I

I'll give you a blanket
                              G#°       Am
Your spirit can sit and watch TV by my side
              D  G
'Cause, baby, I
                                       E7
Ran through a time when I felt you were doing it

F
I couldn't handle it, I was in Monaco
F
I couldn't hear what they said on the telephone
G
I had to sing for the prince in two hours
G
Sat in the shower
                E7         Dm
Gave myself two seconds to cry
        Dm           G
It's a shame that we die

                                                      C
When I was fifteen, naked, next-door neighbors did a drive-by
                               F            C
Pulled me up by my waist, long hair, to the beachside
         F
I wanted to go out like you, swim with the fishes
    C
That he caught on Rhode Island beaches
                     Em F
But, sometimes, it's just not your time

    G
Caroline
                                                E
What kind of mother was she to say I'd end up in institutions?
      F                             G            C      Am
All I wanted to do was kiss Aaron Greene and sit by the lake
         F                         G
Twisting lime into the drinks that they made
                                       E7          F
Have a babe at sixteen, the town I was born in and died

      Am                G
Aaron ended up dead and not me
                                      C
What the fuck's wrong in your head to send me away?

Never to come back
        G                                        E7         F
Exotic places and people don't take the place of being your child

  Fm                         C
I give myself two seconds to cry
        Am        G
Let it crash over me

Like the waves in the sea
         E7 F
Call me Aphrodite
        G
As they bow down to me

Dm          E            F         G
Sunbather, Moon chaser, queen of empathy
                   E7          F
I give myself two seconds to breathe
                               G
And go back to being a serene queen
                      E7     F
I just needed two seconds to be me