6969

Dm
(Somewhere deep in the slow, eternal depths of the heavens drifts a planet called simply "Earth"
And among the otherwise unremarkable population of this planet are two incredible heroes,
destined to save the future from itself)

A  Dm  G  C
F/A Bb Cadd4   F/A Bb Cadd4   F/A Bb Cadd4   F/A Bb Cadd4
(Hey Ninja Brian, I made a time machine spaceship. You... wanna go on it?) (...) (Yeah okay, 
cool)


Gm                   F          Csus4           C
Soaring through the galaxy, the stars and sky align
Gm                        F                   Eb               Ebsus2
The speed of light's for pussies; we're going at the speed of Brian
Gm                  F             Csus4        C
Flying towards the sexual peak of history and time
Db  Ab  Cb  Gb  F
(Computer, set a sexy course for the sexiest year)

F/A Bb Cadd4
Sixty-nine
F/A Bb Cadd4
Sixty-nine
F/A Bb Cadd4
(Sixty-nine) I've got my space suit
F/A Bb Cadd4
(Sixty-nine) And ninety pounds of space lube

Db       Ebm/Db     Ab/Db        Db                 Ebm/Db  Ab/Db
Crossing through into a fuckin' wormhole beyond the Milky Way
Eb/Db       Db
That shit's far
     Db      Ebm/Db    Ab/Db        Db           Dbsus4        Db
To a time of Earth so far into the future where everyone gets laid
Eb/Db       Db
Twice as hard
      D     Em/D        A/D        D                 Em/D     A/D
We're noble knights of honor on a fierce and sultry butt crusade
E/D     D
Here we are

A Dm     G   C
Open the bay doors and
F/A   Bb       Cadd4
Let's live the dream
         F/A     Bb     Cadd4
Give the world a double team
  F/A        Bb      Cadd4             F/A   Bb          Cadd4
I bet it's a billion person orgy in an ocean of whipped cream

[G  ILOQUY]

Cm  Gm  F
(Wait, this place isn't sexy at all!
And this robot sign says human touch has been outlawed)

Eb         Bb                        Ab
 I can't believe my eyes, but it's a world without sex
     Cm                  Gm                          F
Everyone here just wears full length pants and loose fitting turtlenecks
        Eb      F          Gm    Db       Eb
Men and women wave to each other from a respectable distance
   Eb       F          Gm     Db        Eb
Without the thrill of boning, what is life?
        Eb           F          Gm      Db
We must speak to the Council of Dick Elders...

[CONFRONTATION]

    Gm       Eb  Bb  F
...tonight  (Excuse me, Dick Elders?)[What do you want?]

Gm                   Eb      Bb              F
 I know it's most unusual to come before you so
        Gm                 Eb                Bb               F
But the planet Earth sucks balls now that no one's allowed to bone
      Gm                         Eb                            Bb                        F
We've come from the past to introduce you to ass [Wait! You're Ninja Sex Party! You will ruin 
our plans!]
Gm  Eb7  Gm Eb7       Gm  Eb7  Gm  Eb7
Guards!     Sound the alarms!

Gm  Eb7  Gm  Eb7
If people have sex, they'll break a thousand-year spell
Gm  Eb7  Gm  Eb7
There'll be a revolution and they'll think for themselves
Gm  Eb7  Gm  Eb7
We control this planet of unsatisfied wood
Gm  Eb7  Gm  Eb7
Why does being evil always feel so damn good?

A    Dm   G   C
Fuck that bullshit
F/A   Bb      Cadd4
We'll make it right
    F/A       Bb     Cadd4
Get ready for a sexy fight
   F/A        Bb       Cadd4          F/A    Bb     Cadd4
My dick's the spark of hope and a revolution shall ignite

     Gm          F                 Csus4           C
(Tonight,) We're taking flight, we have to find a girl
Gm                 Eb7     Gm                Eb7
[Shoot the fucking lasers! Shoot the fucking lasers at 'em!]
Gm               F                  Eb              Ebsus2
Show her what it means to love, and fix this broken world
Gm              Eb7     Gm             Eb7
[All the fuckin lasers! All the fuckin lasers at 'em!]
Gm                  F                   Csus4        C
A new sex king will rule; let the boner banners be unfurled

[DISCOVERY]

Db  Ab  Cb  Gb  F
(Ninja Brian, look at that girl with the sad eyes and the beautiful blonde hair. I'm immediately
 in love!)

F/A Bb Cadd4
(Sixty-nine) She spent a life all alone
F/A Bb Cadd4
(Sixty-nine) Wanna take her to the bone zone
F/A Bb Cadd4
(Sixty-nine) Make her feel the pleasure
F/A Bb Cadd4
(Sixty-nine) On a lonely treasure

Cm  Gm  F

Cm          Gm                           F
 I can't believe my eyes, but you're the girl of my dreams
            Eb                 Bb                 Ab
Let's both tear all of our clothes off like two pants-hating wolverines
    Cm                 Gm                        F
The love we make will save the Earth from this oppressive dick regime

 Eb   F  Gm        Db
(Whoa-oh-oh) We're having sex now
 Eb   F  Gm  N.C.
(Whoa-oh-oh) To change the world
 Eb   F  Gm      Db
(Whoa-oh-oh) You brought your friends now
 Eb   F  Gm  N.C.
(Whoa-oh-oh) Oh shit, they're girls!

[D VOLUTION]

Cm            Gm                  F
 I think it's obvious that people liked our sexy show
        Eb              Bb              Ab
A multi-billion person orgy has broken out all across the globe
    Cm                Gm                F
The human race, much like my junk, will now be free to grow (let's go!)

 Eb   F  Gm            Db
(Whoa-oh-oh) But what about the Elders?
 Eb   F  Gm     N.C.
(Whoa-oh-oh) We tore their world to shreds
 Eb   F  Gm           Db
(Whoa-oh-oh) Maybe they'll be cool with it
 Eb   F  Gm
(Whoa-oh-oh) (Oh hey, Dick Elders! How's it goin'?)

N.C.
[You two are fucking...]

[ESCAPE]

Gm                   Eb           Bb             F
[...dead!] So much for that, it's time to put on pants
         Gm                    Eb           Bb             F
And run away from their Death Army which is starting to advance
Gm                 Eb7      Gm              Eb7
[Shoot the fucking lasers! Way more fucking lasers at 'em!]
Gm                     Eb                        Bb                F
 We can't die, we're way too young and there are so many girls to bone
Gm                 Eb7      Gm              Eb7
[Shoot the fucking lasers! Way more fucking lasers at 'em!]
Gm              Eb               Bb                 F
 But now we're cornered with our backs against the wall!

Gm
[(It's all over, Danny Sexbang! Your time has come!
But first, we're gonna take care of your ninja friend, here!)]
*slash* *screams*

A  Dm    G  C
Goddamn, Brian
F/A Bb          Cadd4
You killed them all
        F/A Bb      Cadd4
Now the empire will fall
  F/A      Bb      Cadd4             F/A      Bb      Cadd4
I have to say in retrospect that was easier than I thought! (oh yeah!)

[F D WELL]

Gm    F                      Csus4      C
  Our work here's done, the future is secure
       Gm              F                 Eb              Ebsus2
But my girl and I have one last farewell slam just to be sure
    Gm               F                    Csus4             C
For underneath those rockin' boobs lies a heart that is so pure

Db  Ab  Cb  Gb  F
(Take care of this world for me, my darling, I will always love you)

F/A Bb Cadd4    F/A Bb Cadd4    F/A Bb Cadd4    F/A Bb Cadd4
(What is your name by the way? Kristen? Ah, a beautiful name
Until that glorious day when we meet again, Katie, farewell!)

            F/A Bb Cadd4
Now let us fly
          F/A    Bb Cadd4
Into the night sky
            F/A   Bb        Cadd4
And we'll raise a glass to ass
            F/A Bb Cadd4
In a final goodbye
F/A Bb Cadd4 F/A Bb Cadd4
To sixty-nine, sixty-nine
F/A Bb Cadd4 F/A Bb Cadd4
Sixty-nine sixty-nine
                        F/A Bb Cadd4
(Sixty-nine) Let us be gone
                          F/A  Bb Cadd4
(Sixty-nine) Our quest is life-long
                     F/A Bb Cadd4                   F/A Bb Cadd4
(Sixty-nine) It's a sexy destiny so let's rock the fuck on
F/A Bb Cadd4 F/A Bb Cadd4
Sixty-nine, sixty-nine

G/F    F
  Fuck yeah
G/F    F
  Fuck yeah