Xmas Has Been X'ed

[Parte 01 De 02]
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A|-3~~~-3~~-----------------------------------------------| 
E|--------------------------------------------------------| 

[Parte 02 De 02]
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D|-5-5-5-5-5-5---7-7-7-7-7-7---12-12--10-10----5-5-5-5----| 
A|-3-3-3-3-3-3---5-5-5-5-5-5---8--8---7--7-----3-3-3-3----| 
E|--------------------------------------------------------| 

   C5            D5            G/F    F/E      C5
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D|-5-5-5-5-5-5---7-7-7-7-7-7---12-12--10-10----5-5-5-5----| 
A|-3-3-3-3-3-3---5-5-5-5-5-5---8--8---7--7-----3-3-3-3----| 
E|--------------------------------------------------------| 

[Primeira Parte]

C5                                D5
It's funny how some fables became historic
G5                                        A5
When the authors clearly wrote them to be metaphoric
F5                                       C5
But people will believe anything if it's written
D5                               G5
Especially in stone or ancient scroll

C5                     D5
December 25th has been blacklisted
G5                                        Am
Since Dawkins found the proof Jesus never existed
C5                                F5
It was the last thing anyone ever expected
G5
Xmas has been X'd

[Refrão]
           C5                   F5
No colored lights, no shopping sprees
        G5                  C5    G/B
No more presents under dead trees
            Am                F5
St. Nick is dead but we don't grieve
       G5                       C5
We celebrate the last Christmas Eve

[Segunda Parte]

C5                         D5
Jesuits are slowly turning Dianetic
G5                              A5
Protestants increasingly become agnostic
F5                               C5
Pentecostal churches are hanging pentagrams
D5                                   G5
Priests and Nuns are molesting each other

C5                                   D5
Methodists and Baptists are claiming Buddhist
G5                            Am
Evangelicals surprisingly are Nudist
C5                                 F5
But mostly everyone is trying to become Jew
    G5
Cuz Easter's canceled too

[Refrão]

            C5               F5
No more egg hunts, no Sunday mass
            G5                     C5
Fridays are fair, Wednesdays don't ash
     G/B      Am                   F5
They canceled lent and slowed down fast
      G5                      C5
Enjoy Christmas cuz it's your last

            F5
No shopping sprees (don't worry son)
        G5
No more presents (we don't need Christ)
           C5
under dead trees (we got eight nights)
    G/B     Am
St. Nick is dead (we got mitzvah)
             F5
but we don't grieve (they won't cancel)
       G5                                     C5
We celebrate (our hanukah) the last Christmas eve