Crocodile Tears

    E                             A
I saw you last night with that fella
    E                    C#m
the up-to-date version of me
         E                A
He was smug as a lottery winner
          E          B          E
You were warm as a reptile can be
         E                         A
What a change from the last time I saw you
            E                         C#m
With those tears running down if you please
      E                A
From sad to happy so quickly
            E           B         E
That's one hundred and eighty degrees

[Chorus]
      A                    E
But crocodiles do it much better
         A                       B
they're much more humane and forgiving
       E           F#m
Their victims are dead
      E/G#        A
in a minute it's said
       E             B        E
While yours have to carry on living
            A                           E
And those crocodile tears you've been shedding
      A                           B
Some day they might come back to haunt you
       E          F#m
Oh, I bet you one day
           E/G#     A
you'll be sobbing away
            E
'cause you have to
     B              E
and not 'cause you want to

E   F#m   E/G#    A  E B E

[Verse 2]
         E                          A
And the night that you said it was over
         E                  C#m
I got a history lesson for free
     E                        A
I thought it was you did the lying and cheating
     E            B            E
It turns out it must have been me
      E                               A
When the tears started flowing that clinched it
    E                    C#m
I knew you'd be running away
        E
to the arms of your new love -
       A
poor devil, he gets  you
      E          B       E
for twenty four hours a day

[Chorus]
      A                    E
But crocodiles do it much better
         A                       B
they're much more humane and forgiving
       E           F#m
Their victims are dead
      E/G#        A
in a minute it's said
       E             B        E
While yours have to carry on living
            A                           E
And those crocodile tears you've been shedding
      A                           B
Some day they might come back to haunt you
       E          F#m
Oh, I bet you one day
           E/G#      A
you'll be sobbing away
            E
'cause you have to
     B              E
and not 'cause you want to

E  F#m  E/G#   A  E B E

[Verse 3]
        E                         A
Well I hope he lives up to your standards
  E                     C#m
Standards I could never keep
      E                        A
I was always to quick on the trigger, you said
        E           B           E
not to mention to dumb and to cheap
        E                    A
And I see all your petty revenges
      E                    C#m
The drama goes on, does it ever
          E                     A
But that picture of us, in the nude, on the bus
    E         B             E
To put it on Facebook was clever

[Chorus]
      A                    E
But crocodiles do it much better
         A                       B
they're much more humane and forgiving
       E           F#m
Their victims are dead
      E/G#        A
in a minute it's said
       E             B        E
While yours have to carry on living
           A                           E
And those crocodile tears you've been shedding
      A                           B
Some day they might come back to haunt you
       E           F#m
Oh, I bet you one day
           E/G#      A
you'll be sobbing away
            E
'cause you have to
     B              E
and not 'cause you want to
       E           F#m
Oh, I bet you one day
           E/G#      A
you'll be sobbing away
            E
'cause you have to
     B             C#m      E
and not 'cause you want to
E|-----| 

Final four lines from an older version (as seen on several YouTube videos):

     E                       A
But watching you acting the victim
         E                   C#m
Is like watching the news on tv
     E
You can't stand to see
          A
all the blood and the gore
          E              B              E
yet you can't take your eyes off the screen