B
I hung a shingle 'Country Music for Hire'
E                                       B
No fans, no singles 10 years later I'm tired
           F#                       E
Now I've racked my brain And I've looked all around
       F#                   E
But I can't find a way To freshen my sound
         F#          B                C#m        B        E
And now who do you call When you're down to one musical dime?
Em                     B
Fountains of Wayne Hotline

[Dialogue Interlude 1]

[Gerald]
B
Fountains of Wayne Hotline. Gerald speaking. How can I help you?

[Robbie]
B
Oh, yeah. Thanks. Uh, hello. Um, yeah, I'm a country singer in a

small Midwestern town. And I'm here in the studio today. Uh, let
B
me explain. We're working on a track. And uh we juhs, dih- dih- dih-

just did a verse. It was kind of broken down. And at this point

I'm not sure where to take it. Where to go from here...

[Gerald]
B
Sir, sir. Calm down. We can help you. We can help you. What you

need to do now is employ the "radical dynamic shift"

[Robbie]
B
The, The radical... yes, uh, wha-, what do you mean by that?

[Gerald]
B
You know. Full band entry, fortissimo, while maintaining consistent

apparent volume on the vocal track

[Robbie]
B
Oh. Oh! Yeah, yeah! That's a great idea! Thanks a lot. Thanks for your time

[Gerald]
B
My pleasure. We're always here

[Verse 2]
B
It's such a drag To face another filthy stage
E                                          B
Beating these 3 chords In an early middle age
F#                     E
I'd be better off with 7 in hand
    F#                  E
An analog synth and an Angry young band
              F#            B     C#m        B       E
Then I could turn my muddy water Into sweet Mexican wine
Em                     B
Fountains of Wayne Hotline

B                                    [mute]
— Slightly distorted melodic solo! — Check!

[Musical Interlude]
B B B B
E E B B
F# E F# E
B C#m B E
Em B

[Dialogue Interlude 2]

[Grant]
B
Hotline. Department of Bridges and Infrastructure. Grant speaking

[Robbie]
B
Oh yeah, hi there. I called a little while ago. I talked to a
gentleman. I believe his name was Gerald. And, um, he...

[Grant]
B
Sir, we've got about seven Geralds here. You're talking to me now

[Robbie]
B
Yeah, of course, yeah. The point is I'm in the middle of the song,

we're about 3 minutes in, and I'm not sure where to take it from

here. We've done a couple verses and its just kind of, um hit a, hit a wall

[Grant]
B
Yeah. Yeah, well, Tell me about your textural variation and

harmonic palette that you have going so far

[Robbie]
B
Oh of course. Well, um. Two 16-bar verses, the first one broken

down, followed by a radical dynamic shift

[Grant]
B
Oh, THAT Gerald

[Robbie]
B
A slightly distorted melodic guitar solo. And chordally, let's see,

a 1, a 5, a 4, with and without a sub-dominant 7, a 2, 2 minor, and

briefly a 9th compound over the tonic

[Grant]
B
Uh, well that 9th, is that telegraphed or just gratuitous coloration?

[Robbie]
B
Um, a bit of both, actually

[Grant]
B
Oh, OK. Well let's hit the bridge, I'll tell you what you do. No

new chords introduced. Get a split bar of 4 in there, and push the

one. and then we'll slather the holy hell out of the thing with a s
B
emi-ironic Beach Boys vocal pad. And then an asymmetrical back hand.

There's your bridge

[Robbie]
B
Uh huh

[Grant]
B
Yep

[Robbie]
B
Isn't that a lot of information to put in the...

[Grant]
B
Sir, I've been on this hotline for 15 years you're gonna havta trust me on this one

[Robbie]
B
OK, OK. Thank you very much. I'll give it a try. Thank you

[Grant]
B
You got it, Chief

[Bridge]
C#m   B
Oh, yeah
E
Now we're getting big and full
C#m   B
Oh, yeah
E
Try a wider interval
C#m             B
Just like this? Oh yeah
C#m        B
More like: Oh yeah!
E
Check me out: oooooooo, yeah!

[Verse 3]
F#                     E
I feel invincible and all dialed-in
F#                             E
Kind of Long Island with some West Coast sin
          F#         B    C#m     B          E
So let's cut to the coda Any old gimmick is fine
Em                 [mute]
Fountains of Wayne Hotline