Amish Paradise

Intro: Ab Fm G Cm


Verse 1:

     Ab                              Fm
As I walk through the valley where I harvest my grain
         G                       Cm
I take a look at my wife and realize she's very plain
     Ab                        Fm
But that's just perfect for an Amish like me
           G                       Cm
You know I shun fancy things like electricity
   Ab                       Fm
At 4:30 in the morning I'm milkin' cows
G                               Cm
Jebediah feeds the chickens and Jacob plows fool
    Ab                    Fm
And I've been milkin' and plowin' so long that
G                           Cm
Even Ezekiel thinks that my mind is gone
     Ab                    Fm
I'm a man of the land, I'm into discipline
      G                      Cm
Got a Bible in my hand and a beard on my chin
         Ab                          Fm
But if I finish all of my chores and you finish thine
     G                                    Cm
Then tonight we're gonna party like it's 1699


Chorus 1:

Ab                 Fm                     G           Cm
  We been spending most our lives living in an Amish paradise
Ab                    Fm                   G           Cm
  I've churned butter once or twice living in an Amish paradise
Ab                  Fm                G           Cm
  It's hard work and sacrifice living in an Amish paradise
Ab                  Fm                   G             Cm
  We sell quilts at discount price living in an Amish paradise


Verse 2:

   Ab                        Fm
A local boy kicked me in the butt last week
        G                   Cm
I just smiled at him and I turned the other cheek
   Ab                          Fm
I really don't care, in fact I wish him well
                G                              Cm
'Cause I'll be laughing my head off when he's burning in Hell
      Ab                                 Fm
But I ain't never punched a tourist even if he deserved it
    G                      Cm
An Amish with a 'tude? You know that's unheard of
   Ab                       Fm
I never wear buttons but I got a cool hat
       G                      Cm
And my homies agree I really look good in black fool
Ab                              Fm
If you come to visit, you'll be bored to tears
           G                           Cm
We haven't even paid the phone bill in 300 years
       Ab                      Fm
But we ain't really quaint, so please don't point and stare
      G                    Cm
We're just technologically impaired


Bridge:

          Ab                    Fm             G         Cm
There's no phone, no lights, no motorcar not a single luxury
     Ab        Fm             G               Cm
Like Robinson Caruso it's as primitive as can be


Chorus 2:

Ab                 Fm                    G           Cm
  We been spending most our lives living in an Amish Paradise
Ab                    Fm                  G           Cm
  We're just plain and simple guys living in an Amish Paradise
Ab                    Fm                  G           Cm
  There's no time for sin and vice living in an Amish Paradise
Ab                            Fm          G           Cm
  We don't fight, we all play nice living in an Amish Paradise


Verse 3:

Ab                     Fm
Hitchin' up the buggy, churnin' lots of butter
G                         Cm
Raised a barn on Monday, soon I'll raise an 'utter
Ab                             Fm
Think you're really righteous? Think you're pure in heart?
        G                          Cm
Well, I know I'm a million time as humble as thou art
Ab                           Fm
I'm the pious guy the little Amlettes want to be like
       G                           Cm
On my knees day and night scorin' points for the afterlife
Ab                     Fm
So don't be vain and don't be whiny
         G                                Cm
Or else, my brother, I might have to get medieval on your heinie


Chorus 3:

Ab                 Fm                    G           Cm
  We been spending most our lives living in an Amish Paradise
Ab                     Fm           G           Cm
  We're all crazy Mennonites living in an Amish Paradise
Ab                   Fm                    G           Cm
  There's no cops or traffic lights living in an Amish Paradise
Ab                    Fm                   G           Cm
  But you'd probably think it bites living in an Amish Paradise


Outro:

Ab      Fm      G   Cm
Ahh-ahh-ahh-ahh-ahh-ahh
Ab       Fm      G       Cm
Ahh-ahh-ahh-ahh-ahh-ahh-yecch!