Another Song About How Bad I Am At Life

G7

C C F7 C
G7 F7 C G


[Verse 1]

   C
My parents paid for college and I wonder why
   C
To have me be a comic flipping burgers on the side
    F7
You can't have an apartment making 8.75
    C
Let alone car insurance after two DWIs
  G7                              F7
I don't think I can write enough songs to stay alive
        C     N.C.
I would turn to prostitution, but I don't think I'd get by

   E7                                            Am
My brain's so fried I don't think I could pass a drug test
          E7                                                 Am
And if my daddy weren't a lawyer, I'd probably be in jail by now (it also helps to be white)
F                       G                   C      Am
Throw your hands in the air on my emotional roller coaster
F         N.C.
Everybody do the mood swing


[Chorus]

     F               G    C
I'll never amount to   anything
                     Am
I'll never amount to anything
                     F
I'll never amount to anything
                     G
I’ll never amount to nothin'


[Verse 2]

   C
My therapist said focus on the now and here
     C
So I savor all the flavor when I pound a beer
      F7
I get heart palpitations and panic attacks
      C
But I don't think I could trust myself around Xanax
   G7                      F7
My therapist said I should take my meds
    C      N.C.
But that's exactly what the government wants me to do

  E7                                   Am
I switch banks every time I overdraw my checking account
         E7                                      Am
I'm at a point where 100 dollars could change my life (if I didn't spend it on cigarettes)
       F                   G         C         Am
You'll drag bodies from my emotional wreckage, baby
F N.C.
  What's the point of trying?


[Chorus]

     F               G    C
I'll never amount to   anything
                     Am
I'll never amount to anything
                     F
I'll never amount to anything
                     G
I’ll never amount to nothin'


[Piano solo]

C C F7 F7
G7 F7 C G7
C C F7 F7
G7 F7 C

C7  G7
E7 Am E7 Am
E7 C F G


[Verse 3]

   C           N.C.
In first grade they tell you you could be the president
    C            N.C.
But I can't even get people to follow me on Twitter
  F7
I drink and I smoke, and I never use a rubber
    C
And also I play the lottery
G7                    F7
Raised in suburbia to die in the streets
       C       N.C.
But my parents still say that they're proud of me

          E7                             Am
I'll be a sewer of emotionally-draining shit
          E7                                  Am
And it'll take more than a manhole to shut me up (haha, manhole)
F                G                       C       Am
You'll lose your luggage at my emotional baggage claim
F                G                       C       Am
You'll lose your luggage at my emotional baggage claim
F N.C.
  Poster boy of eugenics


[Chorus]

     F               G    C
I'll never amount to   anything
                     Am
I'll never amount to anything
                     F
I'll never amount to anything
                     G
I’ll never amount to nothin'


C
Anything
                     Am
I'll never amount to anything
                     F
I'll never amount to anything
                     G
I’ll never amount to nothin'